Notes From The Broken

She fell in love with him. He wasn’t handsome neither did he have that male aura of masculinity or anything but still she loved him just the way he was. Many a time she would look at him and wonder why she fell so deeply and blindly for him. He was a real jerk. One who didn’t deserve the love and affection she had for him but still she found him amazing.

He snatched away her essence, her innocence. She was willing to give it to him but she knew he didn’t deserve it. He deceived her. His smiles, his words, his actions.. All deceit! How could she have fallen for such? Many nights, she cried. She wanted her innocence back. She had given it to the wrong man and now she wished she could take it back the same way he had taken it. Alas! It was too late. The harsh realization made her cry more and more. Her head throbbed and she longed for some good loving. She wanted him. Yes him! She wanted him to hold her and tell her he loved her, he cared for her, he will always be there for her. They were one! Bonded together by that innocence, that night, their sweat, her tears. She yearned for him. She called his name, screamed for him in the darkness. But he wasn’t there.

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It had started well. She didn’t fall for him at first after all he wasn’t good looking. She denied her feelings and convinced herself that she couldn’t fall for him. Deep down in her heart she knew she had fallen. As time went on, she fell deeper and deeper till she could deny it no more. She was head over heels in love with him.

She cherished his calls. She would patiently for him to get back from work, settle down and then he would call her and they would talk and talk and talk. She just loved listening to his voice. It was like honey, soothing her soul. When the phone cut and he didn’t call back immediately, she had a mild heart attack till he finally called back and then her mind would be at rest. Ahhh! She had finally found love. There was quite an age difference but she didn’t mind. Age didn’t matter after all she was in love. She would listen to romantic love songs with him in her head and drift away to her world of fantasy and ecstasy. In that world, it was only the both of them and they had wonderful, indescribable moments. She lived in an impenetrable bubble. Death to whatever tried to separate them. Her own world of illusion.

They had great times together. When he looked into her eyes, when he kissed her, she felt fire. It was like someone had set off a burning forest in her chest. Her knees felt weak. She wanted him so bad. When he touched her, her heart raced. Burning desire engulfed her body. This was it. She would give herself to him after all he was her one true love. He asked if she was sure about it. He didn’t want to rush her. She said yes. She was sure. Her body yearned for it.

Finally it happened. It wasn’t what she had expected, the pain was overwhelming and indescribable yet she didn’t mind. She was happy it was with Him. She would never regret her decision. But little did she know. He changed. The calls reduced till they gradually stopped. She could die. Why was he doing this to her. What did she do wrong? She was so sad. She would call and he won’t pick. When he did, he would sound so cold and harsh. One day he finally asked her never to call again. She had overstayed her welcome in his life and now he wanted her out.

She couldn’t believe it. After all the proclamation of love, he was denouncing her. It was a big blow and she almost wished she could take her life. Her First ever! She wanted to curl up like a defeated hedgehog and die. Life was being too cruel. So this was what Love felt like. Love defeated you and made you a loser. How unfair.

Love is wicked!